Confession Time!

I have a confession to make. I have been visiting a place... a place of false beliefs and self-destruction. It's called, Slippery Slopeville. It's a real place!! It's a place where the devil on your left shoulder gets FAR FAR more attention and agreement than the angel on your right shoulder.
I'm beyond guilty of some self-sabatoge in the past couple of weeks, but it was really bad this weekend. I've been having little pieces of the kids' candy out of their buckets here and there, or not eating on a regular basis and then telling myself that it is okay to eat something completely off plan just because I hadn't eaten lunch or whatever. It's not okay!! *sigh* I'm letting my emotions, frustrations and stresses get the best of me. I'm also listening to all of the bull crap excuses that I give myself... Number one being, "I'll get back on track after vacation." Really?? But then will I tell myself that it's Halloween, so I'll wait until after that? Then Thanksgiving? Then my work holiday party? Then Christmas... You all see where this is going. So do I.

The worst part is that I know I'm going to have to go through a bit of detox again. It won't be as bad as the beginning, but I can tell my body is used to some dose of regular sugar/carbs every day because of my horrible cravings for stupid things. Cravings I haven't had in MONTHS! This weekend it was the peanut caramel clusters I used to get from Menards. I finally broke down and bought a bag. I do have an NSV there though... I opened it, ate two, put them in the freezer and actually forgot them until right this minute. We bought them on Saturday! The old me would have had the bag polished off by yesterday afternoon.

So, it's time to have a little sit down with myself. I have karate tonight. I asked The Hubby to make us some yummy, THM-friendly treats so I could get my fix from those and I have been diligent about menu planning this week. I'm a great planner... I just have to be a great EXECUTOR!!! I brought an apple and cheese stick to the roller rink for our Girl Scout event on Saturday night and ended up eating a piece of pizza and Girl Scout cookies for dinner. OY!! I was just downright naughty!!! And I told myself it was okay. Then I enjoyed a couple of beers with The Hubby when I got home. Let's just say it was that kind of weekend!! It took a day, but the headache was there this morning... HELLO CARBS! YOU SUCK!!! That's my body's reaction to too many carbs now. Hey, at least there's punishment for my bad behavior!

Anyway... so, no waiting. This is not a "I'll start Monday" kind of thing. Well, since today is Monday, it kind of is! *hee hee* I didn't mean it to be. You all know what I mean though. Since I'm coming completely clean, I had a cookie this morning. UGH! Darn co-workers! No no no... all me. I CAN say no. So, three hours lapsed, the cookies called again and I DID say no. WHEW! Tiny success. It really is like starting all over again. Then I got an email... Free PiYo trial class after work on Monday. I immediately sent an email out to put me on the list. Tonight is karate and day five of the challenge I posted on October 1st. I'm still doing it!! I'll get my crunches in tonight at karate and the rest after class. Tomorrow, with no kids, I may opt to join the late karate class. Wednesday... beyond busy day, but our final evening of karate before vacation. That's the easy part.

In an effort to curb my self-destruction, I asked The Hubby to make some Skinny Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups while I took the two girls out for some very belated birthday pics (I try take them out for mini shoots around their birthdays, but failed to make time this year). I came home to him putting yummy, chocolatey goodness in the freezer. For dessert we gave them a try and they were beyond delicious! Absolutely scrumptious!!! They even LOOK yummy! They are made in a mini muffin tin and two is a perfect amount.


I'll be honest, I can't remember what I planned for dinner tonight, but Mondays and Wednesdays are always a bit crazy with getting kids fed, changed and to karate on time after work. Thank God for my wonderful husband who mans the forth with mad skill. He usually picks kids up, gets them home and does homework with them and gets dinner started. Yup... he's a keeper! If memory serves me right, tonight is my famous Egg White Sandwich. YUM! Tomorrow we are trying a new recipe that is seen in the book, as well as on Pinterest, Egg Roll In A Bowl. Wednesday is bunless burgers in an effort to have a very easy evening. I have also made a vow to myself that while I will indulge on vacation, I will not gorge myself on vacation. There is a difference!

There are a total of 11+ weeks left in 2015. I would be beyond happy to lose an average of a pound a week for the rest of the year. Actually, my goal is to lose 10 pounds. I think I said it in a post last week... I want to start the new year with a resolution to keep being awesome and MAINTAIN my hard work. If I don't lose that 10 pounds, fine. I'm still awesome. I don't want to go into 2016 with a resolution to FIX myself. I'm not broken. I can always improve, but there's nothing to fix. The work I put into what I want is the result I will get, so that's up to me. But it doesn't take a new year to make a plan. So, 11 weeks... 10 pounds. BRING IT ON!!!!

The one thing I can say is... If it weren't for THM, I wouldn't have lost what I've lost AND kept it off. If I was counting calories or points or whatever, I would have lost half of what I've lost and these cheats would have turned into massive gains. My body finally knows not to freak out and immediately store every bad thing I put in my body. Yes, I've maintained for two months, but I've maintained for two months. I still fit into medium shirts and 10/12 pants. A stumble in the way I'm eating now is a bite size Butterfinger and two Tootsie Rolls, not an entire bag of Oreos. Food still doesn't have the deathly grip on me that it did before and my biggest fear is ending up back in that situation. I think that's why I needed to confess. I know I'll get back on track when I have to report here and I fear definitely wins this one!

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