Day 71 of 84 - Challenges During the Challenge
**WARNING** This post is long, full of whining and honestly not my brightest moment. I completely understand if you skip right over it!
We all know that real life throws challenges our way all the time. The best laid plans are just that... plans. That doesn't mean everything always goes according to plan. When I started this challenge, things got off to a fast start. I started planning... I'll do ________ activities this many times a week and my goal is to lose 20 pounds, although I'd be happy with 15. Funny how quickly life can change your plans!!
Here we are, less than two weeks to weigh out and to say I'm a bit down and frustrated is an understatement. But, life is bumpy right? It doesn't always go according to plan. Even complete control freaks like me can't control everything. I've had a huge learning curve in lack of control the past couple of weeks. The best laid plans aren't always the ones we end up following. I'm actually still trying to wrap my head around the latest plans that the different "professionals" are steering me toward. I guess that's probably why I haven't updated, but here goes...
Let's back up just a bit... Last Monday I had PT for my side. Still no progress there and it's hard to not break down at times over feeling defeated by that one. No one can tell me why it hurts, how to fix it, or how to just get past it. My therapist is still confident that she can help though, so we'll see. Running still creates intense pain, so I remain on the injured reserved list.
I skipped my Wednesday swim lessons because the pain after swimming has just hit a point where it's not worth it. Sleeping is difficult enough right now without adding the additional post-swim throbbing. Ibuprofen is not cutting it, so the less I can aggravate it the better. Thursday I took my youngest to kindergarten round up and she did AWESOME!! She is so excited about starting kindergarten after her little glimpse at life on the 2nd floor (the preschool is on the 1st floor, grade school is on the 2nd floor and middle school is on the 3rd floor at their school.) I was so proud of her!! She's come so far with her anxieties!!
Friday morning was my appointment with the endocrinologist - the specialist for my PCOS. I have to say that the fears I talked about in my last post were warranted for this appointment. I'm basically doing what I can do, or at least I was since I've let my stress get the best of my eating plan lately. But for the most part, I'm tracking what I eat, staying within my calorie range, minimizing bad carbs, exercising as much as possible, taking the meds I know that will help my symptoms... basically, that's the best we can do. Again, check tears of frustration! He did give me a couple of options. One was a weight loss med to help me out a bit and hopefully kick start my body and show it what it is supposed to do. We would partner that with healthy eating... it would just help prod my metabolism into picking up the pace a bit. He also referred me to a nutritionist in our area to see if I should tweak some things. My awesome challenge partner also steered me toward the book her endocrinologist told her to read in regards to a nutritional plan to help with PCOS. So, not a complete loss, but not as much help as I was hoping it would be. I am who I am and this disease has no cure and very little treatment. So far, they are somewhat able to treat the side effects, but even that is hit or miss. *sigh*
Thankfully, my hubby whisked me away for a day out of town after the appointment and we got to enjoy a kid-free, adult-fun weekend together. It's been too long!! Three whole days together!! We laughed, talked, laughed some more, shopped, checked out new places, went to a wedding, lounged, went to a movie, lounged some more... It was an absolutely perfect, stress-free weekend!
Reality came flying back on Monday when I went to the orthopedic doc. I was so frustrated when I left there, and in so much more pain than when I got there, that I was, once again, struggling to hold back tears. Long story short... I got a cortisone shot and was told to do physical therapy for 2-4 weeks and reassess. Longer version... he didn't discuss my MRI results at all (he had no idea I had already accessed them), he didn't even admit I had a partial rotator cuff tear until I asked him point blank and he didn't expand on that at all. Just said, "No full tear, let's do a shot, some PT and that should alleviate your pain and strengthen things up. If you find it hurts again down the road, we can reassess, but I really think this will do the trick." I have my doubts. And today is much more painful than yesterday - oh how I hate cortisone shots!!! I've had them before and only had misery after. There wasn't really any discussion. Just, "Here, this is what I'll do for you. Have a good day." Needless to say, I am getting a second opinion. If the next doc says to do PT, I'll do it and I'll shut up. If he says surgery, I will schedule a new consult with him and then set up surgery which waylays this another month at least. It's so hard not to think about all of the things I can't do now, all the things I won't be able to do with surgery, all the things I want to be able to do... SOON! I want it fixed so I can get back to life.
I'm going to whine for just one more moment and then I'll put on my big girl undies and move on. I can't run, I can't swim, I can't lift weights, I can't lift my daughter, I can't swing a golf club, I can't sleep, I can't even ride comfortably in a car. Yes, running and swimming are two different injuries at play, but I want to do SOMETHING!!!! The farther we push out surgery, the less summer I will get to enjoy. We love to go four wheeling, I want to try to train for a fall race, I want to feel like myself again!!! I just want some answers and some solutions. I hate limbo. I SUCK at limbo!
Okay... done. I realize so many people have it so much worse than I do. I have a wonderful life, an amazing husband and children. fantastic family and friends... I have so much to be thankful for. I'll get back to myself. I will get those answers. I just have to keep being proactive and push for what I know in my gut that I need. I may not be able to push myself physically right now, but that same determination is still in there. I will push on and I will be back to where I want to be one day. Just hopefully sooner than later.
And with that said... Today I take my oldest to the pulmonologist and I am praying that the answers and action plan at this appointment will be a bit more proactive than they were at mine! Either way... I get to spend a bit of one-on-one time with my big girl and then I get to take both girls home for a girls night! I can't wait!!! Plus, it's a short week, we have AWESOME things planned for the later part of the week and the Easter Bunny spoiled our kids rotten this year. I can't wait!!!
We all know that real life throws challenges our way all the time. The best laid plans are just that... plans. That doesn't mean everything always goes according to plan. When I started this challenge, things got off to a fast start. I started planning... I'll do ________ activities this many times a week and my goal is to lose 20 pounds, although I'd be happy with 15. Funny how quickly life can change your plans!!
Here we are, less than two weeks to weigh out and to say I'm a bit down and frustrated is an understatement. But, life is bumpy right? It doesn't always go according to plan. Even complete control freaks like me can't control everything. I've had a huge learning curve in lack of control the past couple of weeks. The best laid plans aren't always the ones we end up following. I'm actually still trying to wrap my head around the latest plans that the different "professionals" are steering me toward. I guess that's probably why I haven't updated, but here goes...
Let's back up just a bit... Last Monday I had PT for my side. Still no progress there and it's hard to not break down at times over feeling defeated by that one. No one can tell me why it hurts, how to fix it, or how to just get past it. My therapist is still confident that she can help though, so we'll see. Running still creates intense pain, so I remain on the injured reserved list.
I skipped my Wednesday swim lessons because the pain after swimming has just hit a point where it's not worth it. Sleeping is difficult enough right now without adding the additional post-swim throbbing. Ibuprofen is not cutting it, so the less I can aggravate it the better. Thursday I took my youngest to kindergarten round up and she did AWESOME!! She is so excited about starting kindergarten after her little glimpse at life on the 2nd floor (the preschool is on the 1st floor, grade school is on the 2nd floor and middle school is on the 3rd floor at their school.) I was so proud of her!! She's come so far with her anxieties!!
Friday morning was my appointment with the endocrinologist - the specialist for my PCOS. I have to say that the fears I talked about in my last post were warranted for this appointment. I'm basically doing what I can do, or at least I was since I've let my stress get the best of my eating plan lately. But for the most part, I'm tracking what I eat, staying within my calorie range, minimizing bad carbs, exercising as much as possible, taking the meds I know that will help my symptoms... basically, that's the best we can do. Again, check tears of frustration! He did give me a couple of options. One was a weight loss med to help me out a bit and hopefully kick start my body and show it what it is supposed to do. We would partner that with healthy eating... it would just help prod my metabolism into picking up the pace a bit. He also referred me to a nutritionist in our area to see if I should tweak some things. My awesome challenge partner also steered me toward the book her endocrinologist told her to read in regards to a nutritional plan to help with PCOS. So, not a complete loss, but not as much help as I was hoping it would be. I am who I am and this disease has no cure and very little treatment. So far, they are somewhat able to treat the side effects, but even that is hit or miss. *sigh*
Thankfully, my hubby whisked me away for a day out of town after the appointment and we got to enjoy a kid-free, adult-fun weekend together. It's been too long!! Three whole days together!! We laughed, talked, laughed some more, shopped, checked out new places, went to a wedding, lounged, went to a movie, lounged some more... It was an absolutely perfect, stress-free weekend!
Reality came flying back on Monday when I went to the orthopedic doc. I was so frustrated when I left there, and in so much more pain than when I got there, that I was, once again, struggling to hold back tears. Long story short... I got a cortisone shot and was told to do physical therapy for 2-4 weeks and reassess. Longer version... he didn't discuss my MRI results at all (he had no idea I had already accessed them), he didn't even admit I had a partial rotator cuff tear until I asked him point blank and he didn't expand on that at all. Just said, "No full tear, let's do a shot, some PT and that should alleviate your pain and strengthen things up. If you find it hurts again down the road, we can reassess, but I really think this will do the trick." I have my doubts. And today is much more painful than yesterday - oh how I hate cortisone shots!!! I've had them before and only had misery after. There wasn't really any discussion. Just, "Here, this is what I'll do for you. Have a good day." Needless to say, I am getting a second opinion. If the next doc says to do PT, I'll do it and I'll shut up. If he says surgery, I will schedule a new consult with him and then set up surgery which waylays this another month at least. It's so hard not to think about all of the things I can't do now, all the things I won't be able to do with surgery, all the things I want to be able to do... SOON! I want it fixed so I can get back to life.
I'm going to whine for just one more moment and then I'll put on my big girl undies and move on. I can't run, I can't swim, I can't lift weights, I can't lift my daughter, I can't swing a golf club, I can't sleep, I can't even ride comfortably in a car. Yes, running and swimming are two different injuries at play, but I want to do SOMETHING!!!! The farther we push out surgery, the less summer I will get to enjoy. We love to go four wheeling, I want to try to train for a fall race, I want to feel like myself again!!! I just want some answers and some solutions. I hate limbo. I SUCK at limbo!
Okay... done. I realize so many people have it so much worse than I do. I have a wonderful life, an amazing husband and children. fantastic family and friends... I have so much to be thankful for. I'll get back to myself. I will get those answers. I just have to keep being proactive and push for what I know in my gut that I need. I may not be able to push myself physically right now, but that same determination is still in there. I will push on and I will be back to where I want to be one day. Just hopefully sooner than later.
And with that said... Today I take my oldest to the pulmonologist and I am praying that the answers and action plan at this appointment will be a bit more proactive than they were at mine! Either way... I get to spend a bit of one-on-one time with my big girl and then I get to take both girls home for a girls night! I can't wait!!! Plus, it's a short week, we have AWESOME things planned for the later part of the week and the Easter Bunny spoiled our kids rotten this year. I can't wait!!!
Comments
Post a Comment