Morning Journaling - Day 3
Good morning!! I did not journal over the weekend, it was an odd one to say the very least. But it was fun and we got to see friends and camped in the most beautiful spot right on the edge of Chequamegon Bay on Lake Superior.
We were down there for our niece and nephew's high school graduation and the weather couldn't have been any more perfect! Unfortunately, after an exhausting, busy week at work, I got a migraine Saturday afternoon that knocked me flat on my back. Literally!! I crashed hard and slept for TWENTY HOURS!!! Needless to say, I missed a lot of the fun, but thankfully my body felt rested and relatively pain free on Sunday. I hate days like that, especially weekend days, because I lose so much time, but it is clearly my body saying it's had enough.
So, we are on to a new week and this one promises to be just as busy and exhausting as the last one. It's New Student Orientation at work for the incoming freshman students who just graduated from high school. Lots of brainpower, lots of steps, and lots of fun. But dang, am I wiped out at the end of the day. That means, today I'm pushing fluids, taking good notes (because my memory sucks lately), and riding this tidal wave like a pro surfer, until it crashes back on land.
Which means, with no further ado...
Morning Journal 6/6/22
This week's plans:
Today starts a 30-day challenge for me, with an awesome group of ladies. So, some of my journal will focus on the cues from the challenge, while some will stay the same.CHALLENGE MISSION #1:
- Fill in the blanks... I, Lyndsay, weigh/wear/feel: ___________________________________.
- Set a timer. Free write for 3 minutes, writing out as many reasons as you can as to WHY you want to change:
What's my WHY?
Odd that I haven't actually posted my why here. I have my "What's my Why" post on my business blog, but this one is just as important. Why do I keep trying? Why don't I just give up? Why do I want to lose weight and get fitter?
It's crazy, but this WHY is harder to answer than my business one!
The simple answer would be that I hate being overweight. I hate feeling and looking like I do.
But the longer answer is, I miss ME! I don't like who I've become since gaining weight over the last year. I am not a natural introvert. Yet, I've become more and more of one as time has passed, which is fine, but hiding away from people because of how I think I look to them is not okay.
I miss being comfortable in my own skin, instead of wishing I didn't have to somewhere or see someone because I look "fat". This state of mind is driving me nuts, but I can't seem to shake it, or the feeling that people are talking about me behind my back (more than usual LOL).
Not only that, but I owe it to my kids. Body image is a huge deal and it's clear mine is in the tank. I don't want to pass this on to them, they've gotten enough bad genetics from me. I don't need to pass along the demonstration of poor self-esteem on top of it all!
My why... because I deserve better. I deserve to treat myself as good as I do my kids and hubby. My body, my health, my life is just as important and if I'm not in top form, how can I give what I have to them? I miss the happy, outgoing, adventurous me. I miss running and training. I want this because I want to feel healthier. I want to give my body the best chance at being as healthy and pain-free as I can. Right now I'm not doing that, so something needs to change.
- Of the reasons above, what are the three biggest reasons that really pull at my heartstrings as to WHY I want to slim down so badly.:
My Top Three!
Ooh, so my absolute top three reasons would have to be 1) I miss the old me, the happy, energetic, outgoing, adventurous me; 2) I want to go back to setting a good example for my kids, not this sad-sack, depressed, frustrated example; and 3) because I deserve it and I've done it before, so I deserve to take the time I need to do it again to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
- What is the feeling you get when you think of getting down to your ideal weight range?
Happiness, pride, satisfaction, confidence, comfortable!
How will life be different as you slim down? What will you wear? How will you walk differently? What will happen for you at work? What will change in your relationships?
Life will still go on... Get up, go to work, come home, etc. But when the kids ask to go to the beach, I won't have to think twice about putting on that swimsuit and heading out, or even laying out to tan and getting in the water with them. I will finally be able to bust out all of my bagged up clothes from before I began to gain last year. I have a whole dang wardrobe on hold right now. At work I won't feel as winded walking up and down stairs, or sweat like I just got done running a damn marathon. And relationships... Boom Chicka Bow Bow! Poor self-esteem effects everything! I will have more confidence over all... clothes or no clothes!
- What are you going to tell yourself to get back into action when things get boring or if you want to give up over the next 30 days?
You can do this! You are worth it. If you give up, you'll get no where. Get back on track and see those goals through to the end. Think about what you looked like in pictures from a year or two ago, how bad do you want to get back there? Is it worth it to quit? You are not a failure. Think about how you will feel when you can put on a pair of those smaller pants. You've got this!!
What is one special way you will celebrate yourself upon completing each week of the challenge?
I'll be honest, this one was a bit harder to answer. Week one I will give myself two hours of alone time to do with as I please - no interruptions!! Week two I will buy myself a new workout outfit, for sticking it out and making it half way!! Week three is easy because I already have the tickets, but I'm going on a Girls Night Out with my two best friends to see a play at the playhouse. My celebration will be having 1-2 adult drinks of my choice that night. Week four I will get a manicure since the 4th of July is that weekend. Also, one more workout outfit to celebrate making it to the end. If I don't make it, I don't get it. So.... NO GIVING UP!!
CHALLENGE MISSION #2:
I will NEVER quit on myself again and I WILL complete this challenge!!
It won't be perfect, or pretty all the time. I will make mistakes over the next 30 days and there my be some days that I do not successfully honor my body and goals all day, but that does not mean I should chuck it all. It's 30 days, I can do it. If I hate it after that... I can stop. I doubt I'll hate it though. Plus, this time can be different than all the others when I tried to right my wrongs this past year. I just have to be open to learning new things, accepting of imperfection, and kind to myself as I move forward.
My realistic and doable next best step(s) to help me get there today is to...
Listen
to my body, feel the hunger and stop when satisfied. Don't stress the small stuff. Stay hydrated. Think before I put it in my mouth... are you really hungry? Will this really satisfy you? If you wait 15 minutes will you still want it. Let's see... give it 15 minutes.
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