Morning Journal - Day 12

 It's time to get caught up here! To say the last two weeks have been insanely busy is an understatement, and that's just at work! So, it's time to do a full check-in with myself and take some self-care time to type it all out.

I set some goals last week and I'm happy to report that I didn't do TOO bad on them as the week progressed. I wasn't able to journal every day, but that's okay. I was still doing a mental rundown of my weekly and daily goals and pushing myself to achieve them.

Today is, thankfully, the final full day of new student orientations on campus. I truly enjoy them, but I'm beyond exhausted at this point. They are definitely taxing, both physically and mentally. But that also means today is the final day of free, provided lunch. Bummer! I was really starting to get used to having the option to grab free food, which included fresh fruit and veggies!

Morning Journal 6/15/22

How about a quick update on how last week's goals are going, first?

LAST WEEK'S GOAL:  

By July 1st my goal for my health is to be happier with myself, who I am and how I look, and I will feel more confident in moving ahead toward bigger goals. I will strive for this goal because I want that happiness, I want to enjoy every nice day and not fear wearing shorts because my legs are not pretty. I want to enjoy life and time with my family and friends without the internal monologue of negativity in my head. Therefore, I will not listen to the voice in my head that is telling me lies, or making me doubt my abilities. I will counter it with positive thoughts.

I can confidently say that this is still my overall goal for the next couple of weeks and I am taking steps to meet it. I didn't always ignore my "Fatter Chatter" but I'm getting there.

(From last week) My realistic and doable next best step(s) to help me get there today is to...

Listen to my body, not my emotional, irrational side, but my actual body. Am I really hungry or am I tired/bored/frustrated/depressed? I will envision myself doing what I set out to do - manifesting what I want to achieve. Practice using positive thoughts to not only acknowledge the negative thoughts, but counter them or eliminate them.

I tried to focus on my body processing every craving and hunger pang. I didn't always succeed in squashing my stubborn 2-year-old inner voice that wanted to splurge, but I did tell it no at least 50% of the time or more. I also focused on turning negative thoughts more positive, but this still needs work.

Any thoughts or feelings I'd like to work through that might be getting in my way:

Thoughts that aren't serving me: 

(These still remain the same this week)

I'm so fat
My butt is huge
My legs look like cottage cheese
Failure
Loser
Ugly
I suck!
Why try?
I'm sure they are making comments about me.
I don't what _______ to see me like this.
They think I'm hideous.
I already ate bad today, might as well keep going
Go ahead and eat that, it won't matter
I have no willpower.
I hate being like this.
Why did I do this to myself

 

Thoughts that better serve me:

(These still remain the same this week)

I can do this!
Chin up, I've got this.
My body can do amazing things.
I am the one who can change things
Don't give up.
I'm worth it.
I can put myself first.
Don't think about what others say.
You are loved.
You are wanted.
One bad day does not mean it's a bad life.
I have a lot to offer.
I am in control.
I can make a change.

Feelings that aren't servings me:

Feelings that I want to feel:

 

 

Thankfully, today was our final in-person orientation for a few weeks. Back to our regularly scheduled program and routine. While I know the steady "keeping busy" piece of orientations was helping greatly with my willpower, I also know that if I can structure my schedule a little better that I can still be successful. Basically, don't throw caution entirely to the wind!