Slowly Dragging Myself Out of this Rut!
While the scale doesn't show it, the holidays put a beating on me and my motivation something HORRIBLE!
It really hit me on Sunday how much my whole attitude had changed about myself and my decisions. I might add that it truly did not help that Aunt Flo decided to make an unscheduled early visit, but it was probably a contributing factor to my mood. Plus, I spent the weekend wearing two to three layers of clothes due to Abbycakes's outdoor hockey tournament. Not exactly a flattering look!
But by Sunday evening I realized I was being ridiculous and really needed to get it together. In a matter of DAYS I started resorting to so much negativity I drowned myself in in the past.
This was absolutely me the past couple of weeks. Every time I looked in the mirror, or changed my clothes, I looked at myself and felt so much disappointment and frustration. The worst part... the scale shows I only gained 5-7 pounds over the past month, depending on the day. Do you know how much of that is the dreaded "water weight" that everyone gains or loses right away? As of today, I can say 4.2 pounds of it, and that's just one day of exercise, getting my water and making healthy choices.
I haven't gained back all 30+ pounds of what I lost last year, but that's not what I was seeing when I looked at myself. How can my self image change so dramatically so quickly? Needless to say, I knew I needed an intervention. So yesterday, after a lot of procrastinating, I headed to the gym for a lunch workout. I wasn't even through one full set of my first lift when I felt the change. The stress just evaporated. I had spent several days being crabby, sassy, anxious, frustrated, disgusted, disappointed, and hopeless for what reason? NONE!! Now I'm just angry at myself for being sucked back into that awful rut of self-pity!
No time though! I'm too busy getting back at it to sit and dwell on what I didn't do in December. I hit it hard at the gym for a quick lunch work out yesterday, then hit the dojo last night for a much needed, and very missed, karate class. I'm not sure what we are going to do when the dojo closes for two weeks at the end of February. The withdrawals are going to be insane! I'll officially be training for the Grandma's Half Marathon though, so I have options. Anyway... the double workout was just what I needed yesterday. I went to bed feeling 50 pounds lighter!
Today, I still feel lighter, but a lot sorer (is that even a word?)
That second one cracks me up because I am totally walking like that at work today! I may, or may not have asked the lab tech if I could borrow a wheelchair at one point this morning. The challenge now is to get up and move even though I hurt. My water intake was a bit low at work because I was staying busy... or because it hurt to talk, and the water fountain is wayyyy down at the other end of the hallway. I'm not saying which one is actually true. Tonight is muay thai, so I'm trying to make sure I'm steady with my water, but not guzzling so I slosh when I do my jumping jacks during warm ups.
Tomorrow I'm back in the gym for some upper body weights and then karate in the evening. The clock is ticking and the countdown is on... I'd like to get past the "Super Sore from Finally Getting Back to the Gym" feeling before I start the "Holy Crap I Haven't Run in Forever and This Hurts" feeling that is sure to hit me when I start training for the half marathon I'm running in June!
Turns out my workouts are as vital to my mental health as they are to my physical health. Maybe even more so. I guess that's a pretty darn good reason not to repeat last month! I also have to stay away from the negative self-talk. It gets me nowhere! Upward and onward from here folks!
It really hit me on Sunday how much my whole attitude had changed about myself and my decisions. I might add that it truly did not help that Aunt Flo decided to make an unscheduled early visit, but it was probably a contributing factor to my mood. Plus, I spent the weekend wearing two to three layers of clothes due to Abbycakes's outdoor hockey tournament. Not exactly a flattering look!
But by Sunday evening I realized I was being ridiculous and really needed to get it together. In a matter of DAYS I started resorting to so much negativity I drowned myself in in the past.
This was absolutely me the past couple of weeks. Every time I looked in the mirror, or changed my clothes, I looked at myself and felt so much disappointment and frustration. The worst part... the scale shows I only gained 5-7 pounds over the past month, depending on the day. Do you know how much of that is the dreaded "water weight" that everyone gains or loses right away? As of today, I can say 4.2 pounds of it, and that's just one day of exercise, getting my water and making healthy choices.
I haven't gained back all 30+ pounds of what I lost last year, but that's not what I was seeing when I looked at myself. How can my self image change so dramatically so quickly? Needless to say, I knew I needed an intervention. So yesterday, after a lot of procrastinating, I headed to the gym for a lunch workout. I wasn't even through one full set of my first lift when I felt the change. The stress just evaporated. I had spent several days being crabby, sassy, anxious, frustrated, disgusted, disappointed, and hopeless for what reason? NONE!! Now I'm just angry at myself for being sucked back into that awful rut of self-pity!
No time though! I'm too busy getting back at it to sit and dwell on what I didn't do in December. I hit it hard at the gym for a quick lunch work out yesterday, then hit the dojo last night for a much needed, and very missed, karate class. I'm not sure what we are going to do when the dojo closes for two weeks at the end of February. The withdrawals are going to be insane! I'll officially be training for the Grandma's Half Marathon though, so I have options. Anyway... the double workout was just what I needed yesterday. I went to bed feeling 50 pounds lighter!
Today, I still feel lighter, but a lot sorer (is that even a word?)
That second one cracks me up because I am totally walking like that at work today! I may, or may not have asked the lab tech if I could borrow a wheelchair at one point this morning. The challenge now is to get up and move even though I hurt. My water intake was a bit low at work because I was staying busy... or because it hurt to talk, and the water fountain is wayyyy down at the other end of the hallway. I'm not saying which one is actually true. Tonight is muay thai, so I'm trying to make sure I'm steady with my water, but not guzzling so I slosh when I do my jumping jacks during warm ups.
Tomorrow I'm back in the gym for some upper body weights and then karate in the evening. The clock is ticking and the countdown is on... I'd like to get past the "Super Sore from Finally Getting Back to the Gym" feeling before I start the "Holy Crap I Haven't Run in Forever and This Hurts" feeling that is sure to hit me when I start training for the half marathon I'm running in June!
Turns out my workouts are as vital to my mental health as they are to my physical health. Maybe even more so. I guess that's a pretty darn good reason not to repeat last month! I also have to stay away from the negative self-talk. It gets me nowhere! Upward and onward from here folks!
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