A Letter To My Big Girl
Last night we finally got the family together to celebrate Emmy Lou's 9th birthday. I find it absolutely insane that she is NINE! In my head she's still my 6 year old. But then I have to think, "Oh wait, she's not 6... Abbycakes is 6!" *sigh* It's all going too quickly! Where did my babies go??
My mom sent me a picture last night that she took of Emmy Lou. At first glance I almost didn't recognize her. She's changed so much over the summer - both physically and socially. She's a big kid now! So, that got me to reminiscing and looking through old pictures and then this comparison. I call it, "Em Over The Years". Creative right?
My mom sent me a picture last night that she took of Emmy Lou. At first glance I almost didn't recognize her. She's changed so much over the summer - both physically and socially. She's a big kid now! So, that got me to reminiscing and looking through old pictures and then this comparison. I call it, "Em Over The Years". Creative right?
The Younger Years: 2 - 5 (left to right from top left)
The Big Kid Years: 6 - 9 (left to right from top left)
Next time I do one of these comparisons, the next title will be The Tween Years! {{sob}}
In honor of my big girl, who has officially entered into the start her first double digit year of life, I just need to pour a bit of my heart out, so I wrote her a letter. (For those wondering, yes, I will have her read it. Hopefully she will read it several times!)
To My Dearest Emmy Lou,
What an amazing journey it has been. It took 7 years and 2 months for me to hold you in my arms. Not to mention, about 27 years of dreaming of being a mom one day. You came into this world in a hurry. You weren't willing to wait for anyone (no matter how nicely the doctors asked me if I could wait just 10 more minutes), The doctor laughed as she caught you while sliding her arms into her protective, OB doctor garb. You've been putting a smile on faces all around you ever since.
These first nine years have been absolutely crazy and awesome! In the beginning it was you and me against the world! Well... and often Nana too! You were a bit of a daddy's girl, but you were my whole heart. We've been through a lot, my dear girl. Four different homes, two cabins, six vehicles and countless road trips! You survived the birth of your baby sister and loved her with every ounce of your tiny 3-year-old heart with just one look. Nobody can mess with your Sissy, but you. Even to this day!
We cried together over our broken home and our broken hearts when I explained to the four year old you that your daddy and I loved you very, very much, but we couldn't stay married. You assured me, through actions and comments, that I had made the right decision and I hadn't ruined your for life with my decisions up to that point.
I watched as you held your sister's hand as you both walked away from me that first time you had to go to Daddy's. If you'd known how much it was hurting to say goodbye I know you wouldn't have left my side, but when you came home to me a couple of days later I was reminded again that you were going to be okay. WE were going to be okay.
The next year you met Andy... and shortly after Jackson and Kenzie. I worried you wouldn't like them, or you would be mad at me and think I was replacing you when you weren't home. Not you, though, Kiddo! You welcomed everyone with smiles and hugs and before the end of the first "playdate" you and Kenzie were best friends and asking to see each other more. I love that you act shy or aloof with Andy, but when you need a hug, or you haven't seen him in a while, you are quick to run up and give him a big, unprompted hug.
Oh the places we've been, Baby Girl! First day of preschool, first day of kindergarten at a new school, first day of soccer, first day of karate, first day of softball... so many firsts and so many times I watched you swallow your nervousness and face the world head on with a big ol' smile! In that sense you haven't changed since you were a toddler. Nothing can stand in your way when you decide to do something!
My dear, you've been my rock, when I should have been yours. You're still a little kid, yet you are sometimes far too mature for my liking. You can sense when people are hurting and you do your best to cheer them up. I swear you are the only person in the world who can make your sister smile when she is in one of her moods and I would be utterly, completely, insanely lost without you.
The world has big things in store for you, my girl. I'm not sure what they are just yet, but your journey has only just begun. We've had a wild, amazing and fun 9 years and I am so amazed at who you have become so far. My biggest blessing is that I get to watch you become who you are meant to be and that part of the journey will be even more amazing than what we've seen so far.
I just want to ask a few things of you as we move forward...
What an amazing journey it has been. It took 7 years and 2 months for me to hold you in my arms. Not to mention, about 27 years of dreaming of being a mom one day. You came into this world in a hurry. You weren't willing to wait for anyone (no matter how nicely the doctors asked me if I could wait just 10 more minutes), The doctor laughed as she caught you while sliding her arms into her protective, OB doctor garb. You've been putting a smile on faces all around you ever since.
These first nine years have been absolutely crazy and awesome! In the beginning it was you and me against the world! Well... and often Nana too! You were a bit of a daddy's girl, but you were my whole heart. We've been through a lot, my dear girl. Four different homes, two cabins, six vehicles and countless road trips! You survived the birth of your baby sister and loved her with every ounce of your tiny 3-year-old heart with just one look. Nobody can mess with your Sissy, but you. Even to this day!
We cried together over our broken home and our broken hearts when I explained to the four year old you that your daddy and I loved you very, very much, but we couldn't stay married. You assured me, through actions and comments, that I had made the right decision and I hadn't ruined your for life with my decisions up to that point.
I watched as you held your sister's hand as you both walked away from me that first time you had to go to Daddy's. If you'd known how much it was hurting to say goodbye I know you wouldn't have left my side, but when you came home to me a couple of days later I was reminded again that you were going to be okay. WE were going to be okay.
The next year you met Andy... and shortly after Jackson and Kenzie. I worried you wouldn't like them, or you would be mad at me and think I was replacing you when you weren't home. Not you, though, Kiddo! You welcomed everyone with smiles and hugs and before the end of the first "playdate" you and Kenzie were best friends and asking to see each other more. I love that you act shy or aloof with Andy, but when you need a hug, or you haven't seen him in a while, you are quick to run up and give him a big, unprompted hug.
Oh the places we've been, Baby Girl! First day of preschool, first day of kindergarten at a new school, first day of soccer, first day of karate, first day of softball... so many firsts and so many times I watched you swallow your nervousness and face the world head on with a big ol' smile! In that sense you haven't changed since you were a toddler. Nothing can stand in your way when you decide to do something!
My dear, you've been my rock, when I should have been yours. You're still a little kid, yet you are sometimes far too mature for my liking. You can sense when people are hurting and you do your best to cheer them up. I swear you are the only person in the world who can make your sister smile when she is in one of her moods and I would be utterly, completely, insanely lost without you.
The world has big things in store for you, my girl. I'm not sure what they are just yet, but your journey has only just begun. We've had a wild, amazing and fun 9 years and I am so amazed at who you have become so far. My biggest blessing is that I get to watch you become who you are meant to be and that part of the journey will be even more amazing than what we've seen so far.
I just want to ask a few things of you as we move forward...
- Always, always be true to yourself. You are amazing! Don't let anyone tell you different.
- Don't let society or advertisements or other people dictate how you should look. You are beautiful and you are perfect!
- Be kind to others. Don't let yourself get sucked into mean games and don't ever be the one to lead those mean games. Be the one to help, not hurt!
- Keep your sister close. You are her idol and she would do anything for your attention. Love her, cherish her and know that she will be your bestest friend one day. She will also be your rock when you need one most.
- Love with all of your heart. Don't be afraid to get hurt. It's so worth the pain. We learn so much from the pain and your heart will heal.
- Say you're sorry. When you make a mistake, when you make someone mad, when you get in trouble... Don't hide. Say you're sorry. Regret is an awful thing, but it's worse if you never get the chance to right your wrongs.
- Know that I love you.... always. No matter what! A mother's love is unconditional. I may not like your decisions, your attitude, or your words at times, but I will ALWAYS love you and I will always be here for you.
- Take pictures, write things down... don't depend on technology or your memory. One day you will look back on things and be so happy to have those memories.
- Chase your dreams. No matter how big, or how crazy. We only live once and like I said... regret is an awful thing. Don't be utterly irresponsible, but don't feel you need to always follow the one path you have set. Explore the dirt roads, do things that scare you... by now you should know that the slightly scary stuff often turns into some of the best stuff.
- Finally... NEVER, EVER, EVER give up. You wouldn't be here today if I had given up. Don't give up on life, on love, on faith, on hope... All things happen in the time they are meant to. You are my living example of that!
Thank you for being you, sweetie! You are one of the best things to ever happen to me. As hard as it is to know that half of your childhood is officially over, I know we will make many amazing memories during the second half. Plus, you'll start to make your own as you spread your wings and become the amazing young lady I am already catching glimpses of.
I love you, Lou! Thanks for being my daughter!
Comments
Post a Comment