I'll Always Give You Hugs and Kisses
I had two very excited girls this morning. Today was the last day of school. Three of the four are officially on summer break as of the end of the school day. We have one more who will finish up next Friday since she's in a different school system. I dropped my youngest daughter off with a cake for her class so she could celebrate her birthday a little early with her friends (her birthday is in a week and a half). And my oldest was armed with a water bottle, sunscreen and bug spray (which I slathered on her as we stood on the sidewalk since they won't allow teachers to apply it). Today is the big, end of year, all school picnic! This isn't my first rodeo, or theirs, but today was a tough day. I'm in hyper sentimental mode lately and today it's hitting me like a jackhammer... over and over.
First... my baby isn't a baby. She's my last baby, but there is definitely nothing baby about her. She will be five a week from Monday. As of 3:00pm today she will be a kindergartner - CLASS OF 2028! She will graduate from high school exactly 30 years after I did! HA! I know that seems so far away now, but it seems like each year flies by even faster.
I've watched my oldest join sports teams this year. She was on the swim team this year, her first truly competitive sport and the first sport that really wasn't little kid at all. It wasn't t-ball or chaotic indoor soccer with no real goals (although we did that too). She joined a team, practiced several afternoons a week and competed in swim meets in several different events. She starts softball the first of the month. No tees, they are learning the rules, they are prepping these girls to move on and move up in the sport. This is not little kid stuff where they all run around like crazy animals or stand in the outfield wearing their gloves on their heads and plucking grass and throwing it up into the air. And yes, I've experienced that last part with her!
She's a big kid. She's a 3rd grader as of 3:00pm today. She learned to write in cursive this year and sign her name. She can chit chat with her Spanish teacher. She has outgrown cartoons and now wants to watch "real people" movies. She loved the new Cinderella and has started watching Once Upon A Time on Netflix with me. She also THINKS she is much older than she is and has started to ask when she can just stay home if I have to run and buy milk. Don't push it kid!! I've got some years left there!
Today it feels like I need to hurry up and do all of the things I've always wanted to do with them or hurry up and make plans because if I don't, time will fly and they will be missed or the timing won't be there. I know that's my anxiety and emotions talking. We will have time. We will make lots of memories in the years to come. Also, with it being a weekend I don't have them, but a weekend that was such a bit part of my childhood memories, I find myself thinking about it all and hoping that we can make the kinds of memories with our kids that we made as kids... the kind that get passed on or the kind that you make sure you keep making even though you're all grown up.
I know I have time. I know that our kids are still kids. We will make many memories in the years to come and our kids will tell their kids about them. It just seems like I somehow missed the last 5 or 8 years. I know I didn't. I know we made many memories over the years. It just seems like I blinked and they were gone. But then one of my girls comes up to me and says, "Hey Mom, remember when..." and I realize that I'm meeting my own expectations. We will just keep building on the foundation we have started. And I will always get highly sentimental around this time of the year as I watch them grow more and more. It's bittersweet isn't it? We want them to learn to be independent and responsible and grow into happy, smart, caring, good people. But once in a while it pulls on a heart string to know that although you are succeeding, you are also watching them grow older and start to find their way as they move farther and farther away from the comfy, warm nest we all started in.
For today... I'll hold onto my oldest daughter's promise to me a couple of months ago. "Awww Mom, I'll always give you hugs and kisses. I'll never stop!" I'm holding you to it kid! Let summer begin!
First... my baby isn't a baby. She's my last baby, but there is definitely nothing baby about her. She will be five a week from Monday. As of 3:00pm today she will be a kindergartner - CLASS OF 2028! She will graduate from high school exactly 30 years after I did! HA! I know that seems so far away now, but it seems like each year flies by even faster.
I've watched my oldest join sports teams this year. She was on the swim team this year, her first truly competitive sport and the first sport that really wasn't little kid at all. It wasn't t-ball or chaotic indoor soccer with no real goals (although we did that too). She joined a team, practiced several afternoons a week and competed in swim meets in several different events. She starts softball the first of the month. No tees, they are learning the rules, they are prepping these girls to move on and move up in the sport. This is not little kid stuff where they all run around like crazy animals or stand in the outfield wearing their gloves on their heads and plucking grass and throwing it up into the air. And yes, I've experienced that last part with her!
She's a big kid. She's a 3rd grader as of 3:00pm today. She learned to write in cursive this year and sign her name. She can chit chat with her Spanish teacher. She has outgrown cartoons and now wants to watch "real people" movies. She loved the new Cinderella and has started watching Once Upon A Time on Netflix with me. She also THINKS she is much older than she is and has started to ask when she can just stay home if I have to run and buy milk. Don't push it kid!! I've got some years left there!
Today it feels like I need to hurry up and do all of the things I've always wanted to do with them or hurry up and make plans because if I don't, time will fly and they will be missed or the timing won't be there. I know that's my anxiety and emotions talking. We will have time. We will make lots of memories in the years to come. Also, with it being a weekend I don't have them, but a weekend that was such a bit part of my childhood memories, I find myself thinking about it all and hoping that we can make the kinds of memories with our kids that we made as kids... the kind that get passed on or the kind that you make sure you keep making even though you're all grown up.
I know I have time. I know that our kids are still kids. We will make many memories in the years to come and our kids will tell their kids about them. It just seems like I somehow missed the last 5 or 8 years. I know I didn't. I know we made many memories over the years. It just seems like I blinked and they were gone. But then one of my girls comes up to me and says, "Hey Mom, remember when..." and I realize that I'm meeting my own expectations. We will just keep building on the foundation we have started. And I will always get highly sentimental around this time of the year as I watch them grow more and more. It's bittersweet isn't it? We want them to learn to be independent and responsible and grow into happy, smart, caring, good people. But once in a while it pulls on a heart string to know that although you are succeeding, you are also watching them grow older and start to find their way as they move farther and farther away from the comfy, warm nest we all started in.
For today... I'll hold onto my oldest daughter's promise to me a couple of months ago. "Awww Mom, I'll always give you hugs and kisses. I'll never stop!" I'm holding you to it kid! Let summer begin!
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