Acceptance Takes Time
There's a deep title for you. I'm finding it true a lot in my life lately. I have had to step back and learn to accept a few things that have been really hard to endure. I've also had to accept that pictures in my head of the way things should be, or the way I have my calendar set up, may not always be the way it goes. I will flat out admit... I am a control freak! I am a planner. I am a list maker. I have a color coded calendar that I obsess over at times. I am stubborn as hell. Acceptancing is not exactly the easiest thing for me to do.
I have accepted that my life is not ever going to be what I envisioned it would be. I accepted that a long time ago. I have accepted that only I can decide if I want to be happy. It's my choice to wallow or to shake it off and smile through anything that comes my way. This works in all aspects of life. I hate that I can't be active the way I want to be, but I've accepted that and will do what I need to do to get back to what I CAN do. For me, that's doing my physical therapy exercises at home. A lot of people have it far worse than I do in many aspects of life. I am very blessed and I know that. I just have a hard time remembering that in the moment. I think many people can attest to that same thing. I'm a bit of a hot head, I'm sort of set in my ways at times and I am pretty sure I'm always right, even when I'm wrong. Just give me some time and I will eventually see that I was indeed wrong and I will apologize, but secretly I'll hold on to my belief in what I felt I was right about.
I have accepted that there are things I can't control in life. I don't like it, but I have accepted it. I will still fight it tooth and nail because it is who I am. I accept that the idea does exist and I am working hard maintaining that acceptance. I want to control things. I want to make things easier for my kids, for my husband, for myself... I want to try to manipulate the situation, but that's kind of the same thing. I'm learning, but sometimes it is so overwhelming.
Any of you reading who might be Sons of Anarchy fans know exactly what I mean when I say I am pushing myself to become Chucky... "I accept that."
I am working on accepting that you can't look backward. You can't compare your past with your present. There is a reason things happened in the past and there are reasons why we are where we are right now. Looking back at old pictures of myself when I was bigger or smaller is pointless. Wishing I had appreciated the body I had when I felt embarrassed by it can't be changed now. I can only do something about it now. And I'm the only one who can. The game of what if is pointless, yet we all play it. I need to play "What Can I Do Now?"
How about I answer that? Right now...
Right now I can keep doing my exercises and continue to help my shoulder heal so I can return to what I enjoy doing.
Right now I can love my kids, hug them close and know that no matter what, I'm doing the best that I can do. Some days are much harder than others in some aspects, but I won't give up. Same goes for my hubby... I can love him and give him slack. He's not made like me... we are different people and we will always see things differently. I can't force him to see everything my way (no matter how much I want to). I need to stop trying to do that and I need to accept that we are both giving it our best.
Right now I can put the past in the past and move forward with my future. I can focus on me, what I need right now and in turn what that will give to my family.
Right now I can enjoy the good moments, create as many as possible and just get through the tough times as best as I can. The frustrations, the angers and the stressful things will not own me.
At no point did I say that I will avoid or hide from things that I need to accept. I think at least once a week I want to hand in my adult card. But then I have a great day with my hubby, an amazing night out with friends or I get a much needed hug, kiss, and random I love you from one of my girls and I'm reminded why I want to keep it. I need it. I want it. I love my life most days. When I feel myself being pulled under by the overpowering weight of it all, I just need to reach out or remind myself that I'm strong. I've gotten this far right?
Anyway... completely random rant, but that's what's been in my head the last couple of days. Accepting and dealing with things that I can't control or change. It sucks, but it is what it is. On the other hand... I can control what we eat and I forgot that I didn't share one of the amazing recipes I stumbled across on Pinterest not too long ago. It was definitely a big winner for us. Enjoy!
I have accepted that my life is not ever going to be what I envisioned it would be. I accepted that a long time ago. I have accepted that only I can decide if I want to be happy. It's my choice to wallow or to shake it off and smile through anything that comes my way. This works in all aspects of life. I hate that I can't be active the way I want to be, but I've accepted that and will do what I need to do to get back to what I CAN do. For me, that's doing my physical therapy exercises at home. A lot of people have it far worse than I do in many aspects of life. I am very blessed and I know that. I just have a hard time remembering that in the moment. I think many people can attest to that same thing. I'm a bit of a hot head, I'm sort of set in my ways at times and I am pretty sure I'm always right, even when I'm wrong. Just give me some time and I will eventually see that I was indeed wrong and I will apologize, but secretly I'll hold on to my belief in what I felt I was right about.
I have accepted that there are things I can't control in life. I don't like it, but I have accepted it. I will still fight it tooth and nail because it is who I am. I accept that the idea does exist and I am working hard maintaining that acceptance. I want to control things. I want to make things easier for my kids, for my husband, for myself... I want to try to manipulate the situation, but that's kind of the same thing. I'm learning, but sometimes it is so overwhelming.
Any of you reading who might be Sons of Anarchy fans know exactly what I mean when I say I am pushing myself to become Chucky... "I accept that."
How about I answer that? Right now...
Right now I can keep doing my exercises and continue to help my shoulder heal so I can return to what I enjoy doing.
Right now I can love my kids, hug them close and know that no matter what, I'm doing the best that I can do. Some days are much harder than others in some aspects, but I won't give up. Same goes for my hubby... I can love him and give him slack. He's not made like me... we are different people and we will always see things differently. I can't force him to see everything my way (no matter how much I want to). I need to stop trying to do that and I need to accept that we are both giving it our best.
Right now I can put the past in the past and move forward with my future. I can focus on me, what I need right now and in turn what that will give to my family.
Right now I can enjoy the good moments, create as many as possible and just get through the tough times as best as I can. The frustrations, the angers and the stressful things will not own me.
At no point did I say that I will avoid or hide from things that I need to accept. I think at least once a week I want to hand in my adult card. But then I have a great day with my hubby, an amazing night out with friends or I get a much needed hug, kiss, and random I love you from one of my girls and I'm reminded why I want to keep it. I need it. I want it. I love my life most days. When I feel myself being pulled under by the overpowering weight of it all, I just need to reach out or remind myself that I'm strong. I've gotten this far right?
Anyway... completely random rant, but that's what's been in my head the last couple of days. Accepting and dealing with things that I can't control or change. It sucks, but it is what it is. On the other hand... I can control what we eat and I forgot that I didn't share one of the amazing recipes I stumbled across on Pinterest not too long ago. It was definitely a big winner for us. Enjoy!
Garlic Butter Shrimp & Quinoa
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