Another Year Older, Another Year Wiser!
So, I solidly entered into the race toward my mid-30s this week. How can you help but reflect during a week like this? Sunday would have been my anniversary, Wednesday I gained a year... And where I was a year ago at this point?
Hmmm... fat and unhappy! LOL Okay, that's a harsh way to put it, but I was a hot mess. One year ago I knew my marriage was over, but hadn't yet found the courage to say it out loud. I was about 30 pounds heavier than I am right now and I had absolutely no self-esteem left at all. You know how they say, "I was at the lowest point in my life..." well I was there.
One year later... not-so-fat and very happy! :)
In the past year I have found that my mental health doesn't have 100% to do with my self-image. Yes, it helps to be happier with what I see in the mirror, but so much more has contributed to my personal improvement. I have learned how many friends and family that I have who love me, support me and will be there for me whenever I need them. Keeping my house clean and orderly helps lend to a happier me... who'd a thunk it?!?! LOL My control freak qualities shine through right there! Exercise has been a major contributor to a happier, healthier me. I never, in a million years, could have seen myself running any farther than a 5 mile race at most!
And speaking of that... it's amazing how much I have come to depend on my runs to help me work through things that are bothering me. During the hardest week for me, both emotionally and mentally, so far, I was unable to get out and run. I hurt my knee last Friday when I fell carrying Abby up the stairs and while resting that my back went out on Monday night! I've been riding the pines ever since and I can feel the results of all of that. I'm frustrated, moody, stressed, overwhelmed... I need to get out and clear my head! I didn't think I was that dependent on my 2-4 runs a week... but I am! And I can't wait to get back out on Sunday and stretch my legs and my mind!
But that's just a minor setback. This too shall pass and I'll get back on track in no time! A month from today the race will be over and we'll be headed home after a weekend of running, beer, music, good friends and great fun! Hard to picture!! But then, the last year has flown by... so I assume this next month will pass in the blink of an eye. :)
Although I'm frustrated with my latest setback, when I look at the bigger picture... I've come so far! In just one year I've gone from leading a pretty sedentary, unhappy life to turning things around 180 degrees. I'm now a happy athlete! I enjoy running, I love playing hockey again, and bike rides are what I consider a form a relaxation! LOL I have met and crushed goals this year, both on the scale and off. And I have gotten to a good place inside. I'm happy with me, I know people love and care about me, I'm doing the best I can as a mommy and am rewarded with beautiful girls who make me laugh and make my heart feel like it could burst, and I am living my life how I want to live it and enjoying every minute of it!
I had to look back and see how my running has changed since I'm making comparisons. :) My fastest 2011 5K time was 42:48. My fastest 2012 5K time so far 33:31!!! My farthest distance in 2011 was 5 miles and OMG I thought I was going to die. My farthest distance so far for 2012 is 9 miles... and yeah, I still thought I might die, but now I want to do it again! LOL
My what a difference a year makes!!
Hmmm... fat and unhappy! LOL Okay, that's a harsh way to put it, but I was a hot mess. One year ago I knew my marriage was over, but hadn't yet found the courage to say it out loud. I was about 30 pounds heavier than I am right now and I had absolutely no self-esteem left at all. You know how they say, "I was at the lowest point in my life..." well I was there.
One year later... not-so-fat and very happy! :)
In the past year I have found that my mental health doesn't have 100% to do with my self-image. Yes, it helps to be happier with what I see in the mirror, but so much more has contributed to my personal improvement. I have learned how many friends and family that I have who love me, support me and will be there for me whenever I need them. Keeping my house clean and orderly helps lend to a happier me... who'd a thunk it?!?! LOL My control freak qualities shine through right there! Exercise has been a major contributor to a happier, healthier me. I never, in a million years, could have seen myself running any farther than a 5 mile race at most!
And speaking of that... it's amazing how much I have come to depend on my runs to help me work through things that are bothering me. During the hardest week for me, both emotionally and mentally, so far, I was unable to get out and run. I hurt my knee last Friday when I fell carrying Abby up the stairs and while resting that my back went out on Monday night! I've been riding the pines ever since and I can feel the results of all of that. I'm frustrated, moody, stressed, overwhelmed... I need to get out and clear my head! I didn't think I was that dependent on my 2-4 runs a week... but I am! And I can't wait to get back out on Sunday and stretch my legs and my mind!
But that's just a minor setback. This too shall pass and I'll get back on track in no time! A month from today the race will be over and we'll be headed home after a weekend of running, beer, music, good friends and great fun! Hard to picture!! But then, the last year has flown by... so I assume this next month will pass in the blink of an eye. :)
Although I'm frustrated with my latest setback, when I look at the bigger picture... I've come so far! In just one year I've gone from leading a pretty sedentary, unhappy life to turning things around 180 degrees. I'm now a happy athlete! I enjoy running, I love playing hockey again, and bike rides are what I consider a form a relaxation! LOL I have met and crushed goals this year, both on the scale and off. And I have gotten to a good place inside. I'm happy with me, I know people love and care about me, I'm doing the best I can as a mommy and am rewarded with beautiful girls who make me laugh and make my heart feel like it could burst, and I am living my life how I want to live it and enjoying every minute of it!
I had to look back and see how my running has changed since I'm making comparisons. :) My fastest 2011 5K time was 42:48. My fastest 2012 5K time so far 33:31!!! My farthest distance in 2011 was 5 miles and OMG I thought I was going to die. My farthest distance so far for 2012 is 9 miles... and yeah, I still thought I might die, but now I want to do it again! LOL
My what a difference a year makes!!
You're amazing! Don't ever thing otherwise. :)
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