Reality Bites!!

Talk about a slap in the face!! Reality is a mean S.O.B. but I totally had it coming! Five days of vacation and fun in the sun for the holiday definitely did it's damage. WHEW!! Good thing is that I'm feeling so ugh that being back on track today feels more like a necessity than a chore.

I want to share something crazy though. First, I take full responsibility for how I look and feel today. I haven't been on track for some time. I have tried, but failed to get back on the wagon. I've had excuse after excuse, and sometimes no excuse at all. If I wanted it, I ate it. It's been really bad! I've eaten my stress, my happiness, my frustrations, and every emotion in between. I've had zero control.

With that said, I've lost plenty of progress. A lot of it was out of self pity, while much of it was also due to not working out. No activity + Eating whatever I like = Disaster! Although, while any person who eats junk and doesn't work out ends up losing progress, I need to share what my body does because it's not only frustrating, it's mind boggling.

So, check out the picture below. The photo on the bottom right is me at the end of April. Actually, one day before May! The photo on the top right is me on June 27th. Progress lost, but trying to get back at it. I had great intentions! The photo on the left is me last night... 11 days after the photo in the top right corner. Me after five days of eating an unpoliced amount of sugar, carbs, drinks, and pretty much whatever I wanted. Now, there was also a girls getaway weekend in there to make it extra horrible, but I drank ONE beer over that entire 11-days. I did have a bloody mary or other mixed drink as my adult drink of choice, but no more than two or three in one day (girls weekend I had three). I wasn't drinking a ton of water, but I was drinking far too much Diet Coke. So... here are the results:

Guys, I felt like I had a big ol pregnant belly all week! Some days I was more bloated than others, but my belly looked like this all day on the 4th of July. That means I went from the pic on the right (top) to the pic on the left in one week!!! The scale was no friend of mine by the end of the weekend either! My body hates me!!

So, I took it as a chance to start fresh. I hated how I looked and felt. I was miserable! Talk about a fun hangover - and no I don't mean hangovers are fun, I mean I all that fun had me feeling so ughhhhh!!! I took that picture to remind myself of what I looked like and how I felt. If that's not an absolute REVERSE of the types of photos I want to see... So, after I took the picture, I jumped on the scale and took my measurements. I was starting over and I was not going to stay like this. I couldn't stay like this. The emotional and mental turmoil that resulted from that look... nope! I can't stay on this path. I've come too far to take this route again.

Unfortunately, I now have to travel the same path again, only this time with a few new tools. I'm ready to forgive that person in the left photo. I'm ready to accept that this is where I let myself get again and move the other direction. I'm not going to dwell on where I was a year ago, six months ago, or even yesterday.

Today started a new day and it was a good day - a freaking hot day, but a good day! I planned ahead and shopped for what I needed last night. I may have stumbled a little bit when I didn't have some ingredients I thought I did in my pantry, but I didn't let that get me down. I had a plan and I stuck to that plan! I have a plan for the whole week, but I will take it a day at a time. If I think too far ahead I get overwhelmed.

I'm working on mindfulness... being mindful of my thoughts and correcting the negative ones. Don't get me wrong, I was mindful all weekend... mindful of the fact that I was putting Oreos in the cart with every intention of eating them! Now it's time for a different mindfulness. Today's goals were to stick to my plan, drink water, and focus on positive things. Now, to keep it going into Day 2! Big goal... 21 days