Whoa What a Year!

I know... long time, no post. Honestly, 2020 started out pretty great, and busy, but went downhill beyond fast. I'm not sure many people will disagree with me on that one. And honestly, I just lived by my mom's old rule, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I just didn't have many positive things to post about, so I stayed away. But I'm back!!

Really, 2020 hasn't been all bad. Just before quarantine started the girls and I made a last minute plan for their spring break and hit the open highway for our first long distance road trip. After 40+ hours round trip, we had an awesome trip at Pensacola Beach. It honestly couldn't have gone any better than it did. We had a blast, the girls were phenomenally well behaved (with very minimal fighting), and checked some things off of our bucket lists. Since Kenzie Bug and Jack Jack had a different spring break than Emmy Lou and Abbycakes, it was just Em, Abs, and I for this trip. I can't say I wasn't nervous as we headed out, and even a little bit more so on the way back as we listened to news reports of cities and counties shutting down. But we made it back home the day before the official start of quarantine. I can't tell you how many times over the past four months that I have been beyond thankful that we managed to get that trip in before everything went to hell.

Since then... the kids have suffered several broken hearts - cancelled events and activities (archery state tournament, lacrosse season, the regular softball season, school trips, and on and on) - and I don't think the heartbreak is done. They miss their friends dearly and the thought of more online schooling makes us all sick to our stomachs, but better safe than sick! And like I said, it hasn't been all bad. With campus closed for me, I've been working from home since mid-March so my office is quite mobile, and the kids' schooling could be done anywhere with internet service, so we've spent a lot of time at the cabin/camper this spring and summer. So much so, that we actually bought a new, slightly bigger camper. We all love it!! It's been so fun to have as much family time as this has given us as well. We've had themed dinner nights, game nights, gone on family walks and hikes, remodeled or updated parts of the house, and just gotten time to enjoy each other.

But, with quarantine and extra camper time comes FOOD FREEDOM! The term COVID 15 is no joke. I have solidly put on 15 pounds or more since mid-March. Hence the reason for my return to blogdom. It's time to get that crap under control!! It's just so easy to grab snacks, eat out of boredom or stress, and splurge on fun foods just to keep life a little more entertaining. But it is time to reign that in a little bit.

Since being extremely strict with my diet is completely out of the question right now - I just don't have it in me to abruptly change the family meals, and I don't want to make separate meals for myself. Plus, I know my willpower sucks. So, I decided I had to go with an option that was flexible, mobile (can be done at home or at the camper without hauling multiple totes full of special ingredients) and completely doable. Enter Weight Watchers stage left!

I was on Weight Watchers in 2001 (good lord, that was almost 20 years ago - ugh!) and did amazing with it. I lost 45 pounds and kept it off for about 2 years before I had back to back surgeries that resulted in a lot of down time, less physical activity, and a backward slide into old, nasty eating habits. I did try it again for a microsecond last year, but didn't take the time to really learn the now-new-to-me program as it stands today. Well, this time is different. This time I see this program as something that is totally doable with everyone in the house. Everything I can eat on my Blue Plan of the program are things we are already eating, had been eating with THM, or would still be well received by anyone in the house.

So... I'm going on record tonight. If I say it, I have to stick to it. If I write it here, I am more likely to own it. I am far too close to a number on the scale that I swore I would never see again in this lifetime. And I won't let myself see that number just because I'm being too lazy to make the changes I know I need to make. My first step was stopping a medicine that I know was helping me with the quick weight gain. Unfortunately, it was my Fibromyalgia medication and, while it helped the daily pain to a degree, it wasn't enough to keep on it with the other side effects. So, exercise right now is not high on my "want to do" list. I'm still forcing myself to do something, but we're starting with baby steps in that area to avoid a nasty flare. 

Next step is creating my first week's menu and shopping list so that I can get things started. I'm still familiarizing myself with where foods fall on the points scale and how to use my daily points wisely, but it will take me a few weeks to really get the swing of things so I have to start somewhere. The first week will be about basics and we'll build from there. I'm still having the girls help me choose meals so they feel like they are still getting foods they like, but we be making some re-introductions to our old friends vegetables at every meal and up our fruit game a bit more. 

I'm actually excited to have something else to focus on for a bit. Life is crazy, this pandemic shit is stressful and scary, and I do everything I can to avoid overthinking. This will be a nice new focus... and it's about time I take time to focus on ME again. And not me as a lazy lump, binge watching Netflix and Hulu! So, stay tuned for more ramblings from me about my newest path on this crazy journey. I still refuse to give up on myself... it's just sometimes we need to switch gears a little bit! Since this current hill I made for myself is somewhat steep, it is definitely time to downshift and get my shit together. I have a feeling it's going to be a bit of a bumpy ride!