Summer's in Full Swing!

And I truly mean full swing. I have a softball player this year! My oldest kiddo's best friend from swim team asked her to play softball with her this summer. This is a new area for her. She tried t-ball when she was three and all of us were miserable! She hated it with a passion and was begging me not to make her go after the third or fourth week. It was definitely an epic fail. Imagine my hesitation this year when she told me she REALLY wanted to play softball. I've always been open to letting the kids try whatever they want. Sure, I've been guilty of swaying that decision a bit from time to time, but in the end, if it's not outrageously expensive or something that will absolutely harm them, I say go for it.

So, I became a softball mom a couple of weeks ago. I loved it! And even better yet, SHE loved it! I can't even express how happy I am that she enjoys it. Not just because this is the first summer sport she hasn't complained about shortly after starting it, but I love softball! I've played baseball or softball of some type for over 15 years. (I might add that my daughter also informed me that that particular statement makes me old. Stinker!) Anyway, her first game was the day after her first practice and she had a blast. She was even still smiling at the end of a 90-minute game. See?!?!

My Big Slugger

Unfortunately, the poor bean ended up with strep throat just in time for her second game after her second practice was rained out. So... she was back at it this week. They are so cute to watch. It's a U-8 team, so all of the players are 1st, 2nd and 3rd graders (as of last school year). It's so fun to see them improve as the game goes on. You can see certain things start to click! You even find yourself cheering for the girls on BOTH teams. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to our first softball summer. 

I'm a big believer in children participating in sports - team sports, individual sports, whatever... Just as long as they are active and willing to try new things. This particular peanut has tried gymnastics, dance, t-ball, indoor soccer (twice, just to make sure she didn't like it!), swimming (lessons and team) and now softball. I love that she is willing to try new things. She has several items on her "want to try" list including volleyball (did I mention she's one of the shortest kids in her class?? That won't stop her!), taekwondo, and archery. I also want her to give swimming another season. I told her it will be so different going into it knowing what to expect. She improved so much over the season, I have a feeling she'd enjoy it even more this year. Oh and she also likes to run. She wants to do another 5K and has her sights set on two kids' triathlons this summer. As long as she stays busy and active, I'm a happy mama!

This leads me to something that has been weighing heavy on my heart. My poor baby girl is already starting to develop self-image issues. More than once she came out of her bedroom during this past school year telling me that she looked "fat in this shirt." She wears uniforms for school. That means she wears the same style shirt every single day, just different colors. I know we all have frumpy days, but to hear her say that brings a tear to my eye. 

We've had several talks about her body, about how to be healthy, about loving ourselves and about being proud of the body God gave us and what it can do - like swim, bike, run, skip or hit softballs! She always walks away with her head held a bit higher, but it never seems to last. She's turning eight this summer. She has Mastocytosis (a mast cell disease) and asthma. When she gets a cold it gets bad fast. She is on a steady low dose of steroids, then a slightly higher dose during the cold and flu season, and usually ends up on several heavy doses through the season as well to help her lungs fight off whatever bug is attacking at that moment. She's always been a solid kid and the steroids hit her hard and fast, making her face round out and she gains weight quickly, only to lose it just a quickly when she comes off the meds. I know all of this plays a huge role on her self-image because she's old enough now to see it for herself.

The big question I keep being presented with is, "How do I help her improve that image?" At almost eight, I know that things will only get harder as she gets older. Kids are cruel. No one gets through 13 years of school without being teased at some point for something. In our house we don't use the words FAT, SKINNY, DIET, CALORIES and other similar words. We stress HEALTHY, HAPPY, ACTIVE and other good words associated with diet, exercise and weight. I don't weigh my kids. They may step on the scale once in a blue moon out of sheer entertainment, but we don't talk about weight. The only time they step on a scale is when they are in a doctor's office - or at least that's how it is when they are with me. I've recently found out that things are slightly different at her dad's, but I have to remind her and myself that I can't do anything about that. I can just help her when she is with me and try to keep her dad on the same page.

Recently I held my sobbing seven year old as she told me that she was "too big to run the race" before we completed the 5K at her school. How could she think such a thing? She's a little kid. Look at that picture of her. She's not obese. She's not tall and slim like some kids in her class, but she's also very average compared to the kids around her. She eats balanced meals, is open to trying new foods and will eat just about anything you give her. She knows to have cheese, yogurt, fruit or veggies for a snack and that's what she asks for. Once in a while they get to have a treat out the the Treat Bucket (leftover Halloween, Christmas and Easter candies) which is usually a pack of Smarties or a little bag of gummies. So, after a long heart to heart, with me showing her videos of extremely overweight adults running races on their way to a healthier life, I shed tears with her and hoped that I got through to her that: A) she's not "too big" to do anything - she's not big at all, and B) anyone can run a race. There's no weight or size requirement. It's all about what YOU set your goals at and how you go about reaching them.

With my PCOS I have fears of my girls going through the same struggles as me as they get older. There's a good chance I've passed it on to them. So, I want to start NOW. I want to raise girls who are proud of who they are. Who love themselves wholly, so they can love others just as much. Who stand up for themselves and for others because they are proud of who they are and what they look like. I know that I have my work cut out for me. I just didn't expect it to start so early!

So, I will keep her active. I will keep telling her how proud I am of her for trying new things. And I will keep telling her how smart, beautiful, loving and amazing she is, in hopes of breaking through those negative thoughts and replacing them with solid positive ones. She IS amazing. She IS beautiful. I just need to keep doing what I can and pray that she learns what to believe - the positive she hears from those who love her or the negative from people who are just trying to bring others down with them.

My biggest question is... WHY??? Why is this starting so early? Why are little girls who are barely out of kindergarten believing that they need to diet or starve themselves? Why are they already feeling bad about their bodies? Why are we failing them? Where and how are we failing them? And lastly... How can we fix this??? She's not even eight. What kind of self-image thoughts will be going through her head at 12, 15 or 18? How do we raise this current generation of girls to be strong and love themselves no matter what they see and hear around them in regards to what equals "perfect" or "normal" in today's society? It's a very tormenting topic and it scares me. 

She's the first of three girls we will raise. I refuse to think I've already failed her! I know I will never give up on her or stop building her up, but what about the little girls out there who don't have that? As a society we are failing our children in so many ways and it's heartbreaking. I only know that I refuse to sit back and let my kids become a statistic due to a failure on my part. I know I can't prevent every scenario, but I CAN do my best as her mother to help her through this and it begins with the example I set for her, her sisters and their friends... Whether it be bringing her to my softball games or running races together!

With all of that said... GOOD LUCK to my Grandma's Half Marathon running friends this weekend! All of you are the perfect example of beautiful, amazing, strong women who set a goal and are meeting it head on. YOU all are the example I want my girls to see and compare themselves to. YOU are the perfect role models for the younger generation of girls. I bet many of you didn't think much about the role model you have been and are to your daughters, nieces, granddaughter, friend's children, or any other girl who knows you throughout your training and during this race. It's just an added bonus for all of you hard work. Happy Trails Ladies (and Gentlemen, although I can't think of any guy friends who are running this year. HA HA)!